I don’t call you loathsome because you recently engaged in a soft-core lesbian three-way at the MTV Music Awards gig. That was nothing. Even "Sesame Street" shows that kind of stuff nowadays.

No, no. I call you vile and low and putrid because you are a hypocrite of the worst kind.

According to recent news reports, you’ve gone to extreme lengths to prevent your 7-year-old daughter, Lourdes, from knowing of your on-stage, sex-soaked persona.

One story describes your little girl as completely cloistered, having no clue whatsoever that you lead a double life. She thinks you’re just some sweet mommy who bakes cookies, writes children’s stories and arranges tea parties for her and her collection of stuffed animals; she is wholly unaware that you’re secretly also an erotically-charged pied-piper of porn who trolls the planet by Lear jet with a gigantic entourage of roadies and hangers-on in search – vampire-like – of innocent youth to lead astray with promises of hedonistic pleasures and lustful, rutting abandon.

You’re quoted as saying of little Lourdes Fontleroy, "I protect her from sex full stop....She's not aware of sex, nor should she be."

How special, you slime-brained, scum-sucking, worthless piece of subhuman debris. The only difference between you and a sack of dog crap is the sack – and even that’s debatable now.

Think about it. You devote an entire 20-year career to teaching little girls – including mine – that harlotry is the greatest virtue to which a young lady can aspire and that spreading one’s legs early and often in life before marriage is an uplifting exercise that builds character, leads to unending joy and ensures the admiration of the multitudes. However, you now tell us that all of that applies only to OPDs – Other People’s Daughters. In other words, insane sexual license for thine but not for mine; perversion’s OK as long as it’s Not In My Back Yard.

To add insult to injury, you tell us that you served as a high-priestess in the modern Temple of Diana simply to make money – lots of it, you filthy rich bastard-woman – and that "I'm not apologizing in any shape or form" for any of the societal destruction wrought by your quest for 30 pieces of silver.

Oh, really? Well, here’s a little news flash for you, cupcake: eat s**t.

As one of the leading icons of cultural destruction in America and the Western world of the past two decades, you’ve caused more havoc in more households than can be tabulated. I say it’s high time you were repaid for that in like kind.

Therefore, I propose you be hog-tied to a chair in one of those rooms with a two-way mirror, the kind used by market research people as they monitor the reactions of test-audiences to new TV shows or products. On the other side of that mirror will be your daughter and Hillary Clinton. Alone. Unsupervised. Hillary, acting in her saccharine-sweet way (while snickering behind the back of her hand) will explain to little Lourdes the facts of life – except because Hillary is the teacher, the information delivered to a wide-eyed Lourdes will be about the birds and the birds rather than the birds and the bees. She’ll offer Lourdes a glass of wine. Or maybe two or three. Then, Hillary will strip down to her leather teddy and demonstrate for Lourdes the proper use of whips, chains, and a variety of battery-powered toys.

I know it will be painful for you to watch (many is the parent who has said the exact same thing with regard to your own act). But the Lourdes-Hillary encounter will be a very positive experience for you (and isn’t that what the socialist sociologists and psychologists have been telling us as parents for years whenever we raised concerns that your role-modeling might be harming our kids and the nation’s future?).

True, because little Lourdes has been so intensively sheltered, she’ll need to make up for a lot of lost time while under the tutelage of "Aunt" Hillary. Still, if anyone can get the job done, it’s Hillary. She may not have dancer’s legs like you, but even with that really bad case of cankles she’s fast on her feet.

So, Madonna, I’ll want you to relax and enjoy the show. Because what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

And may your wealth, your fame and your power all rot in your face for all the ruin you’ve brought to families across America – families that wanted the same thing you today want (and that is to keep their children innocent just a while longer), a want you have made sure to deny those families while selfishly coveting it for yourself.

You are the worst kind of hypocrite. I utterly hate you for that.

Sincerely,

A Devoted Fan



"Published originally at EtherZone.com : republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact."

Rich Smith has been a freelance journalist since 1976 and is currently based in a nearly liberal-free zone along the rim of California's fearsome Mojave Desert. He is a regular columnist for Ether Zone.

Rich Smith can be reached at newsdesk@cci-yuccavalley.com

Published in the September 26, 2003 issue of  Ether Zone.
Copyright © 1997 - 2003 Ether Zone.

We invite your comments on this article in our forum!